Lincoln, NE – It’s a good thing that most pervs are stoopid. If they excelled at their ‘craft,’ they might get away with their pervy shenanigans forever and no one would be the wiser. Gregory Tyrrell? Luckily, he’s one of the stupid ones. Gregory, a level-three s3x offender who has spent years behind bars for burglary and s3xual assault, is accused of walking into the woman’s locker room at a couple of different health clubs on more than one occasion. Now, he didn’t just breeze right through the locker room door to get an eyeful – he was way too sneaky for that. What he did, and bear with me while I laugh my ass off, was wrap himself up in towels, from his head to his knees with just his eyes visible, and he’d saunter into the locker room like that. Well now, that wouldn’t look suspicious at all, would it? The dude is 6′2″ and 170 pounds with hairy man knees. He seriously thought no one would catch on? Please.

On August 20, video surveillance caught Gregory entering the men’s locker room fully clothed, and leaving wearing only a towel and carrying an armful of extra towels. On that particular day, Gregory was seen going in and out of the locker room area 40 times in four hours. In July, at a different gym, Gregory was seen entering the women’s locker room at least three times. He was, again, covered in towels, with only his eyes and hairy man legs visible from the knees down. Had I been one of the women in the locker room, I wonder if I would have screamed or pointed and laughed at the retarded guy wrapped in towels? Yeah – I would’a pointed and laughed.

Though gym employees positively identified Gregory on the surveillance video as the weirdo wrapped in towels and creeping around the lady’s locker room, his family and friends seem to think the s3x offender has changed his ways since being released from lock up in ‘04. They think the cops have the wrong dude. Gregory Tyrrell, who is currently on parole until 2024, is back in the pokey facing charges of first-degree criminal trespass and theft of services. The theft charge stems from the fact that Gregory bought a guest pass once, using a false name, but otherwise did not pay to use the gym. Bail has been set at $5,000.

The Dreamin’ Deamon